Friday, September 15, 2006

Friday Breastblogging

In news that will surprise no one, no one at all, Ann Althouse continues to be a lying, spiteful sack of shit. A lying, spiteful sack of shit who hates boobs.

That's just un-American, is what I say. I also say, echoing zuzu, "Fuck you, Ann Althouse."

Won't it be cute the next time she goes crying for feminist support? Why, yes! Yes, it will be very cute. Indeed.

UPDATE: Lauren mentioned bad rap earlier. That was a bad idea. Very, very bad.

We like the boobs; the boobs that go BOOM.

NOT THAT THIS WILL DO ANY GOOD, BUT, AN UPDATE: Ann is now complaining in her own comments that none of the feminazis haters answered her question. I refuse to link to that brainless crone, in keeping with a vow I made after my last go-round with Instapundit's umber whunnnn fayunnn, but here's what she sez about it (emphasis mine):

Well, all you folks who took advantage of this comments section to attack me, in fact, you've made the argument against yourselves. Despite repeated requests, you never addressed the question asked. You mightily tried to put up a smokescreen, but no one serious is fooled. You did not address the question. I'm going to have to give you an F and deem all the things you haven't addressed conceded. I hope you understand that.

So I went looking for the question, because I thought it'd be less messy and less painful than taking the nail-pulling end of a hammer to my skull. I was wrong, of course, because THERE IS NO QUESTION, or at least not one I deem "serious," and please forgive me for getting even that close to trotting out the old "unserious" accusation that the rightwing bloggers have been making a mockery of FOR AT LEAST THE LAST THREE YEARS, if not longer.

But don't take it from me; you be the judge. Here is every last sentence in Ann's post that ends in a question mark, and yes, this was painful for me to do and almost, but not quite, necessitated the imbibing by me of strong spirits:

  • I wanted to elevate a discussion from the comments section of a post from Wednesday, you know the one with the photo of the Daou-wrangled bloggers posing in front of Bill Clinton?

  • Yeah, we know.

  • The first commenter, Goesh, picks up on my prompt -- "Let's just array these bloggers... randomly" -- and wisecracks: "Who is the Intern directly in front of him with the black hair?"

  • That was technically someone else's question, so I don't think this is what Ann's demanding a "serious" answer to, either. Then again, who knows. This is Ann Airhead we're dealing with.

  • Making this colloquy into this new blog post, I actually click over to Jessica's blog, and what the hell?


    Wait--that was only a movie, and much less scary than the prospect of Ann Althouse teaching anyone about anything. Also I don't think that was her question, either.

  • Then, when she goes to meet Clinton, she wears a tight knit top that draws attention to her breasts and stands right in front of him and positions herself to make her breasts as obvious as possible?

  • Finally, something I can answer! Except Jill already answered it:

    It’s fairly clear that the photo is arranged by height, with the shorter people in the front. Jessica, one of the shorter people there, is in the front row. She stands, back straight, with her hands at her sides like everyone else. She moves slightly over so that she’s not blocking the former President.

    But she wore that sweater! And here is where Althouse gives away her true objection to that photo because, like all vapid gasbags, she's not smart enough to lie well. In fact let's answer my question: What the fuck is this demented old crone on about? She's on about the fact that it fucking kills her that Jessica is young, talented, and beautiful. Ann in her prime could never have been such a knockout. And I might have a grain of sympathy for Ann if she'd just admit that, because you know something, I'm a fat old bag myself and sometimes it's hard for me to see beautiful younger women achieving things I never even dreamed of--I mean, whatever you think of William Jefferson Clinton, he WAS President once. I'd be thrilled to meet him just to say I did it. Regardless, I am no stranger to jealousy and I get those little pangs of envy for youth myself sometimes. I do!

    And then I endeavor to keep my grousing to myself because whatever else I am, I am not a vain, petty old scag like Ann Althouse.

  • Or are you going to say she's some kind of Karl Rove plant?

  • Now who's being unserious? Wait, that didn't come out right. I meant to ask, "Now who's being a total fucking retard?"

  • Case in point?

  • I was going to give you the context for that question, but please, just take my word for it that it makes no sense whatsoever and is DEEPLY UNSERIOUS to boot.

    I might note that apparently now if you pose for a photo with the President and you aren't clad in attire Ann approves of, it counts as "breastblogging." I only wish I were making that up, but that's logic on Planet Althouse for you.

  • What are you going to do?

  • Drive the knife in and twist.

  • So am I for giving her the publicity.... but what the hell?

  • I haven't looked at Feministing's traffic lately but I think it'll be a cold, lonely day in hell when the gang there are dependent on ANN ALTHOUSE for publicity of any sort.

    And THAT'S IT for Ann's questions. You want to know the truth? I think she did too many hallucinogens back in the day and actually thinks she has asked serious questions that she only asked in her mind. Just to be sure, though, because I am much fairer to my opponents than is this useless dimwit, I went back and checked the previous post. NO FUCKING QUESTIONS. AT ALL.

    Maybe she asked one in the comments, but last I checked that comments thread was over 275 comments long and besides my fairness has run out, so you know something? I'm not counting questions asked in her comments. If you're such an almighty A-list blogger, Althouse, ask the question in a post. Because this is, I suspect, her question:

    "How can you call yourself a feminist when you're cozying up to a former President who was so abusive to women?"

    Right, Ann? That was the fucking question, wasn't it? Here's a tip: Next time, lay off slagging other women for the crime of looking better than your wilted crumpled self and JUST ASK THE QUESTION. IN A POST, ANN, NOT IN YOUR MIND.

    And as for the answer here is my guess: Because we all make compromises sometimes and it's an honor to meet with any former President and since Ann knows and I know and everyone with an IQ over 70 knows that Ann isn't really concerned about feminism at all, why don't we just stipulate that this is a bullshit (and, I repeat, UNASKED) question. What you were really interested in doing, Ann, was taking that hot young thing down a peg or two. Too bad you're the one who landed face down in the mud in the attempt, you fetid old bat.

    Quick! Someone call Dr. Helen! I see a woman behaving badly on the internet, and her name's Ann Althouse.


    belledame222 said...

    Never even 'eard of 'er.

    but hey: go Jessica!

    i think she should grow an extra breast, and then for her next limelight spot wear a deep-plunging V-neck displaying both cleavages, just to spite whatsername.

    Lauren said...

    Whozer Whatzits? Feminist don't have boooooobs!

    Lauren said...


    ilyka said...


    Oh, how I envy you.

    Jill said...

    Boobs? I want some!

    John said...

    Hey, I'm drunk too!!!! BOOBIES!


    JackGoff said...

    john?! Is blogger on crack?

    That last comment was me, btw.

    JackGoff said...

    Oh, I get it. It's because of my Google account. I hate cookies.

    Mark S. said...

    What astounds me is that she is a law professor. Granted, I have known a few law professors who were less than qualified, but she is uniquely so. She says something dumb every month or so, someone calls her on it, and her response will be a) that's not what I said, b) you can't read, or c) I was being ironic. Of course, c) is always false because a) Ann has no sense of irony and b) she has no sense of humor.

    Anonymous said...

    I'm struggling to see why people would pick on the nice "intern" in the grey sweater. Nothing about her is screaming "Bill! Bill! Take me now, bend me over that table! Biiiiiiiiiiiiill!"

    She wants to look good in a pic. We all do. Fuck, do you want a skanky pic of yourself with Le Former Pres? No-me neither. So Jessica is doing what a normal person should do-standing up straight.

    My grandma would adopt her right off for that alone, let alone that she's "got her damn hair out of her face!"

    If anything, why not pick on the hotter blond in the pic, the one whose dress gave me a seizure?

    Or is the truth that Ann's deal is all really about envy?

    Yeah. I just don't trust people named Ann.

    (PS-am I banned? Anytime I try to comment when I'm logged in, it no work. If you want me to not comment here, just say so. If you want, I can take a few others with me.)

    belledame222 said...

    I am afraid I gave in to my baser impulses (surprise) and told her, Ann, that as long as we were apparently indulging in the "Go Fug Yourself" branch of feminism, she had a rather mean-looking little mouth, does Ann, at least in that photo; and yeah, i think i would've thought so even if i hadn't seen what came out of it.

    anyway: haw! for the "Misery" reference

    belledame222 said...

    and GODDAM woman, but you have a knack for the godawful 80's song/video. "We Like the Cars! the Cars that go BOOM!" didn't even have to play it, it's now stuck in my head."


    belledame222 said...

    ...and because i (OBVIOUSLY) have an insatiable hunger for masochism, i have now WATCHED that video and OH MY GOD

    speaking of "Go Fug Yourself"

    ...the giant hair bows? the high-waisted skirts with cutesy bolero jackets? the oh-so-adorable Debbie Gibson hat? the HORIZONTALLY BLACK AND WHITE STRIPED BIKER SHORTS WITH RUFFLES ON THE ASS

    dear god be with the days.

    you are: EVOL with a capital "O."

    Feministe said...

    To the extent she had a point about why a feminist would meet with Clinton, Scott answers it here.

    i think she should grow an extra breast, and then for her next limelight spot wear a deep-plunging V-neck displaying both cleavages, just to spite whatsername.

    Wouldn't that be a W-neck?

    Oh, and Dr. Helen has weighed in on this. Jessica's being a hypocrite for being upset that Ann's castigating her for having breasts because Krissy got "violent" with some guy in a bar and Jessica didn't get violent with Clinton.

    Or something.


    belledame222 said...

    >Wouldn't that be a W-neck?

    Good point.

    belledame222 said...

    ...I don't know who Dr. Helen is either. Should I? Please say "no."

    ilyka said...

    Helen, you are absolutely not banned but I did upgrade recently to the Blogger beta and it prefers a Gmail login now; that may be what's goofing it up. If you have a Gmail account, try using that; if not holler, and I'll send you an invite.

    I don't know who Dr. Helen is either

    Well, click the "woman behaving badly on the internet" link in the post to make your acquaintance. Or I can lend you a hammer, which might be a good deal less painful in the final analysis.

    To the extent she had a point about why a feminist would meet with Clinton, Scott answers it here.

    Thanks for that link, zuzu. I love Scott. I admit I just took the low road of pointing out that if Ann's gonna petulantly demand that her question be answered (or we all get F's! Oh nooooo) it would help for her to ask the question in the first place.

    belledame222 said...

    but, women are all like intuitive and can read minds and shit; hence, no need for direct communication. isn't that part of feminism as well?

    oh, no, wait, sorry, i was confusing "feminism" with "just plain disingenuousness, bad writing, and all-'round assholery." that seems to keep happening these days for some reason...

    1bodyand2faces said...

    >lying, spiteful sack of shit.

    >that brainless crone

    >This is Ann Airhead we're dealing with.

    >a vain, petty old scag like Ann Althouse.

    >who's being a total fucking retard?"

    >this useless dimwit

    >your wilted crumpled self

    >you fetid old bat.

    A lovely post, Ilyka. I don't want to hear another word from you criticizing the tone of right-wing bloggers. NOT ANOTHER WORD.

    No, really. Not one word.

    You don't like Ann Althouse. WE GET IT.

    1bodyand2faces said...

    And I just want to make myself clear. When you quit blogging forever again in a couple of weeks -- and you will, you always do -- because you don't like the tone of debate....stuff it.

    belledame222 said...

    I rather get the impression that it isn't the rudeness that distresses her so much as, you know, the petty venality, the minging little spitefests disguised as something far grander, the rigid ideologues on both sides each complaining about the others' rigidity and closed-mindedness...

    "It's not the heat, it's the stupidity."

    Of course, she's more than capable of speaking for herself.

    ilyka said...

    And I just want to make myself clear. When you quit blogging forever again in a couple of weeks -- and you will, you always do -- because you don't like the tone of debate....stuff it.

    Excuse me--who the fuck are you? I've taken several breaks from blogging but it's news to me that any of them have been about "the tone of the debate." It's usually because I get too busy or too burnt out. It happens to everyone.

    I don't know you from a hole in the ground, but it's clear you have a problem with me. Let me guess: "Hypocrisy?" Because I called another woman names, yes? Something like that? Well scooch in real close and let me explain something to you:

    Nothing about feminism obligates me to be kind, or even civil, to dishonest, dehumanizing people--even if those people have vaginas.

    Althouse has had other bloggers point out to her, explicitly, that Jessica did not behave flirtatiously with the former President or, for that matter, with anyone; she ignores this and continues to insist that Jessica posed "provacatively," even going so far as to claim that Jessica couldn't have assumed the pose she did without deliberately maneuvering her back to accent her breasts. She claims as proof that she's tried the pose herself and her boobs don't stand out like that--but Althouse doesn't have as large of breasts as Jessica does. It doesn't prove anything, except that Ann will go to any lengths to keep from admitting that what she said was needlessly catty and cruel.

    AND SHE'S TRYING TO CLOAK HER CATTINESS AND CRUELTY IN THE GUISE OF "REAL FEMINISM." You're damn RIGHT I'm going to call her names for that. That is extremely offensive to me.

    And that isn't all Althouse refuses to acknowledge. She won't admit she was clueless about the Feministing logo, she won't admit she misrepresented the intent and content of the feministing site, yadda yadda yadda. This disgusts me. A young woman gets the opportunity of a lifetime and all Ann's good for is to piss on it. People who do things like that are the joy-killers of planet Earth and I unapologetically despise them.

    Not too fond of you, either, for that matter, because you don't seem bright enough to recognize the difference between calling someone a traitor, a whore, or a skank and calling someone old and stupid, which is what every dig I made at Althouse boiled down to. And I would never have brought up the age thing if Ann hadn't made it so clear that she felt Jessica's youth entitled her, as an older woman, to shame and reprove. See also here, especially:

    This kind of incident is a perfect example of how so many people see women—especially young women. We’re there to be ogled or ridiculed. We have nothing else to offer.

    So if Ann doesn't want to be covered in shit I suggest she quit bathing in it.

    As for the dee-lightful irony of you claiming I am a hypocrite about civility when we're talking about Ann "I'm Above All That Coarse Behavior (But Not Really, Because I Am Textbook Passive-Aggressive)" Althouse--well! The mind wobbles. Indeed.

    belledame222 said...

    ...and in a nested loop of irony, from the "Can I get a feminist" thread:


    from the Matt Welch link:

    "Ann Outhouse is a bile bitch," "Ann Outhouse is a bile stool of the left," "She a vile bag of pus," "uglier than a dirty boot," a "dumb slut ... [and] Berkeley house whore," "nasty bitch," "snot," "ass hole" and "moonbat." One correspondent surmised, "perhaps she's dyslexic and intended to say that she wants her puss swamped with semen?."

    My favorite comment, though was this: "When they have to stoop to insults, it's probably all they have left for their attacks."

    I count 5-7 sexist insults vs. sex-neutral insults.
    8:17 AM, November 17, 2005
    Ann Althouse said...

    Bruce: Those who were insulting me at LGF assumed I was a big lefty.

    Meade: Read the whole thing -- at LGF. The tone is overwhelmingly, egregiously sexist...>>

    Oh, my. I think I need a cigareet for this one.

    or, well, no, the notion that in fact this person -is- considered some sort of left-winger/feminist AND that yes, Virginia, it really does get oh so much worse Over There,

    well, just, um...damn, that's really depressing.

    were you READING at places like "Little Green Footballs?" how?...I mean...

    well, i suppose there's something mildly refreshing about people just coming right out with "dumb slut" and "house whore," as opposed to all this coy mincing around.

    not really enough to make up for the nausea, though.

    and no, I have no sympathy for this fool, either.

    just: bemused. Is that the word? I think that's the word.

    ilyka said...

    were you READING at places like "Little Green Footballs?"

    Hahaha--I've never been big on LGF (I hate any blog where the first 10 comments are hoots-and-hollers about which commenter was "first!" so see also, Atrios) but I did used to read Ace of Spades all the time and I can't say Ace's crowd is much kinder.

    So, yeah, I shouldn't call people fetid old bats, that's true, but for someone to get in high dudgeon about that while wingnuts are basically talking in rape fantasies . . . I'm sorry, I can't get that worked up about "fetid old bat."

    1bodyand2faces obviously missed the thread in which I deleted a comment by MY OWN BOYFRIEND for making sexual insults about Ann Coulter, too. I am pretty strict and very consistent about not calling women bitches, whores, c----, etc. But, ooh, bats.

    Chris said...

    A lovely post, Ilyka. I don't want to hear another word from you criticizing the tone of right-wing bloggers. NOT ANOTHER WORD.

    Or else... what are you going to slap her with, Jeff? Advance warning might be appreciated: It's hard to fnd extra-small tweezers on short notice.

    ilyka said...

    I actually don't think that's Jeffy. I first notice this commenter here (where I am accused by same of deleting an entire post based on, yes, 1b2f's comment), and Google indicates I probably picked 1b2f up from a blog called White Peril that I used to be on the roll of.

    John said...

    My money is on Jeff.

    JackGoff said...

    Man, the drunkle google cookie blargh got me again!

    ilyka said...

    Y'all know I diss Jeff for plenty but I'll give him this, he doesn't sockpuppet. He posts under his own name. He OWNS his creepiness.

    JackGoff, you and my friend Helen have had problems since I went to the Blogger Beta--so I should probably ask, is anyone else having any trouble? Not sure what I could do to fix it given that Blogger won't let you switch back once you start using the beta, but, well, I could apologize real nice and everything, I guess.

    I just noticed that 1bodyand2faces left off "vapid gasbag." That pains me, because that was my favorite thing I called her. And if 1bodyand2faces is still around, I forgot to mention:

    You don't like Ann Althouse. WE GET IT.

    No, see, you definitely DON'T get it. I don't like the way Ann Althouse behaves; I think the pleas for civility she always issues after posting a nasty "blind item" or otherwise sneakily stirring the shit-pot are a joke. I think the way she leans on Instapundit is embarrassing. And I don't think she's very smart, and again, I can't say it enough, I really, really, really loathe the "I'm a real feminist but that whore, Jessica, is not" business.

    But I don't actually know Ann as a person and I don't know that I would dislike her in person because I think everyone behaves a little goofily online. Yeah, including myself.

    My problem isn't that I don't like Ann Althouse. My problem is that she started something that didn't need starting and now she won't own it, because she NEVER owns it. She hasn't the spine to.

    belledame222 said...


    Chris said...

    Y'all know I diss Jeff for plenty but I'll give him this, he doesn't sockpuppet. He posts under his own name. He OWNS his creepiness.

    Good point. And now I've gone and used the wteezers joke for nothing.

    belledame222 said...

    dunno enough about Goldstein to speculate, but just notin': "onebodyand2faces" would be an excellent moniker for a sockpuppet. SOMEBODY's sockpuppet.

    JackGoff said...

    The only problem I have is that I'm logged into my Gmail account right now. And blogging at the same time.

    And I'm reeeeally drunk.

    belledame222 said...

    So what's the problem?...

    belledame222 said...

    >and Dr. Helen has weighed in on this. Jessica's being a hypocrite for being upset that Ann's castigating her for having breasts because Krissy got "violent" with some guy in a bar and Jessica didn't get violent with Clinton.>

    "Yehr, but, no, but, yeh but, no, but yeh but no because what 'appened was, everyone's sayin' Ann called Jessica a total slag, but shut up! she wasn't even there so shut up! anyway, well you know Helen--Helen! Helen-Helen. Instapundit-and-Helen? so anyway, Helen reckons it's because Krissy got -really- violent with this guy who called her a total slapper, but she is one anyway, shut up, and anyway she's not even supposed to be in the pub, everyone knows she's only nine, but so then there was this whole other thing that was just like that other thing where Monica had her hand down Billy Clinton's trackie bottoms."

    Jan said...

    This is just dumb. I bet when Leno and Letterman get hold of the photo there'll be a whole routine on it.

    The joke is obvious. Maybe some just don't have a sense of humor.

    Jan said...

    Other site's commentators? Please. You guys are patting yourself so hard on the back you must have sprained arms by now. Except unlike LGF or Althouse you've only got 3 or 4 people in the mutual admiration society.

    ilyka said...

    The joke is obvious.

    And unwarranted.

    Maybe some just don't have a sense of humor.

    Yes, I'm sure that's the problem. Couldn't be that it's difficult to laugh when you're the butt of the joke, now, could it?

    JackGoff said...

    Jan, judging by what passes for commenters at Althouse and LGF, I'm glad I don't know any of them personally, because the majority are pretty despicable. I'll keep my 3 or 4 friends who aren't insane, thank you very much.

    Also, the joke? Wasn't a joke so much as it was mudslinging. That you thought it was funny shows where your mind is.

    Jan said...


    Who decides if a joke is warranted or not?

    Same person who posts it. You don't seem to have a problem calling Ann far worse things than Ann suggested about Jessica. Obviously you think that's warranted.

    You can argue about what's warranted forever but all that does is find justifications why your behavior is right and hers is wrong and that's an an excercise in self-serving hypocrisy.

    JackGoff said...

    that's an an excercise in self-serving hypocrisy.

    Uh-huh. Because Ilyka really did the same thing as Althouse by calling Althouse on her attacks against Jessica's pose in a stupid picture. Riiiight.

    You people on the right have a problem with seeing true feminism it seems. You deride Bill Clinton fopr being a horn-dog and give Bush a pass when he tries to actively strip away the rights of women to abortion. Talk about priority problems.

    belledame222 said...

    >You don't seem to have a problem calling Ann far worse things than Ann suggested about Jessica. Obviously you think that's warranted.>

    Yup, that's right. Because whereas all Jessica did was stand for a publicity photo, ANN is being a bullying asshole, and despite Jessica's repeated requests for her to cease and desist, only kept upping the ante. So, yeah; it's warranted. Sort of in the same way, you know, when the school bully is pounding on someone and won't stop until people who're fed up and disgusted listening to the hurt cries and the giggles of the bully's sycophants finally team up, tear him off, and pound the shit out of him till he cries "uncle."

    Except he never even DOES cry "uncle" much less god forbid "I'm sorry." Just starts whining about how HE'S the victim here;

    and yeah. no frigging surprise there's not much sympathy here.

    It has, for me at least, fuckall to do with the woman's age, looks, or even ideology. I have called out popular supposedly left-wing feminist bloggers for pulling exactly this same sort of crap, quite harshly. The only ERAL difference is, this is several orders of magnitude even beyond THAT wretched circus.

    look, why don't the lot of you just freaking get over yourselves and your hangups with sex and women already? Seriously. Whatever you need to do. Go to a shrink, go to confession, go to a sex therapist, go boil your head, spank your inner moppet, WHATEVER; but get. past it. because you are SERIOUSLY fucking creepy.

    Anonymous said...

    "JackGoff, you and my friend Helen have had problems since I went to the Blogger Beta--so I should probably ask, is anyone else having any trouble?"

    I haven't been able to comment for a week, may be 2. It says Google/Blogger, but it really only accepts Google.

    Ron O

    1bodyand2faces said...

    Not sure where you "picked me up" - I can remember when you were first linked by Cosh and (those were the days) Den Beste....I was already a regular at that point. Not sure who was your first large link at one of your amusing (THOSE were the days) posts on the trials of being a m****al tr***********ist - that was when I hopped aboard. I'd venture to guess that I was among your first 50 or so regular visitors.

    I'm definitely not Goldstein. I would've been much funnier if I were.

    Sorry for the late reply; given my heated reaction to this post, I thought a cooling-off period was in order. Was checking back to see if the tone had improved. It decidedly hasn't. I won't be back again. And no, not because you're bashing Republicans. Or even because you're exclusively bashing Republicans in every single post.

    It all comes back to the sense of humor thing. You've become insanely self-righteous, and can't even see to see that, in a way that Althouse totally is not. Even in her most outrageous posts (which, unlike yours these days, are leavened by her less-politcal, more-personal musings which reveal her to be a human being, and a rather reasonable one), she is able to communicate the tongue being perhaps slightly in cheek -- that she would not be entirely shocked by the notion that reasonable people might disagree with her. (Of course, such subtleties might not register with people frothing to disagree with every word she writes.) Which, in turn, allows reasonable people to mentally register disagreement while still continuing to be regular visitors. For the record, I used to feel the same way about you. And no, it's not because of any change in my politics -- or in yours.