Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Taste

Let's get this out of the way up front: I have no taste in anything, not music, not movies, not clothes, not slipcovers, not shower curtains. I like what I like and what I like is usually crap. I'm aware of this. Given when I grew up, it was pretty much inevitable; or at least, I would have had to work really hard to fight it. And I don't work hard at anything.

That said, will you please tell me I'm right and the Fug Girls are wrong? Because they are:


They loved this getup; I hate it. The color is that horrible light cyan, good old 0x00FFFF; a color great for highlighting text in a Word document, tolerable for a spring or summer dress, and absolutely terrible for an evening gown. And yet, the color is not the worst of this. No, the worst part of this dress is the way it makes her boobs look--like two oranges in aqua-colored sacks being weighed on individual produce scales, they just sort of hang there, limply.

And then there is that empire waist with that old-lady trim beneath the bust: Vanessa Williams does not need to wear old-lady trim, and she does not need to hide her waist. The woman has a waist, and it is fabulous. Witness:


See? SEE? The Fug Girls didn't like this one, though. They liked the more
"toned down" aqua ensemble. I have my hackles about that "toned down" business. Now there's a phrase that's loaded.

I don't know. I think they got it wrong on this one. Or maybe I don't mean wrong; maybe I mean that all of a sudden the Fug Girls sound very, very white, white like sterility, white like tundra. Not every celebrity needs to follow the Hollywood template of straight light hair, understated gown, boring neutral color, "classic" drape, inoffensive texture. Damn it, we already HAVE Nicole Kidman. One's enough.

Vanessa #1 is Barbie; no more, no less. But Vanessa #2 is fierce. Vanessa #1 is a copy of a copy of a copy of an old mimeograph. Vanessa #2 is the original other people copy.

Am I wrong?

15 comments:

elyzabethe said...

you know, that would be something kind of interesting to look at, in those celebrity magazine "who wore it best" or "dos and don'ts" pages, how often is the "don't" based on someone looking more ethnic-looking, or even not ethnic-looking, necessarily, but natural looking than de rigeur straightened-hair-etc. tastes would prefer....

gennimcmahon said...

Vanessa #1 looks like a bridesmaid in the most conservative wedding ever. Like, if in The Bird Cage (my FAVORITE movie to make me giggle all day, sort of like Helen feels about Elf), the conservative senator had gotten his way about who his daughter would marry, they would pick those dresses and then blush delicately at how "racy" they were. When, of course, they're NOT.

And, you know, there just isn't much room for fabulous in our little world. Vanessa #2 is FABULOUS. I'm telling you, from the TOMS on up, no one likes a fabulous creature. Now, I must go cry into my coffee, while deciding if the red petticoat works with the green fiesta skirt.

Rob said...

I am the least qualified person here to comment on fashion. I'm still giggling at "Vanessa L. Williams' crazy Golden Globes". I amuse easily. I don't care for either outfit but Vanessa overcomes both of them.

norbziness said...

Vanessa Williams, oh you're so divine / Just wanted to put your name in my rhyme / Doowatchyalke

evil_fizz said...

I dunno. I kinda like the aqua thing, if you overlook the fact that the top really doesn't fit properly.

The hair and the fur sort of blend together for me, so I think it's not a good look.

So, in summary: abort, retry, fail?

petitpoussin said...

Ilyka, I'm with you here. I also HATED how everyone trashed Beyonce's Golden Globes outfit, saying she looked like Vegas trash or whatever. Please. She looked like a woman who knows she's hot shit. Ya jealous?

Sniper said...

I like both outfits, but what do I know? I still wear Docs to work and apparently they're a big "out".

Also, Vanessa Williams could wear a cardboard box and still look pretty damned good.

Deborah said...

I love the Fug girls, and even they admitted that people were really divided on the Golden Globes outfit.

The aqua outfit is very pretty, and the Fug girls like pretty. It's not gorgeous or amazing, but definitely pretty. It also follows a basic fashion rule, which is ONE amazing or outrageous or wild thing per outfit. One. In this case, the color is eye-popping and everything else is very toned down.

I think that's what's wrong with the Golden Globes outfit. If it had been the hair OR the dress OR the funky fur thing, it would've been ultra-fab. Actually, inside the event, with the fur thing off, I thought she looked amazing. I thought the hair was too much but I liked the idea of the hair and the dress kicked ass. But I didn't watch the red carpet so I hadn't seen the whole ensemble.

jrav said...

I agree Ilyka - the second look is fierce. It's cutting edge. The texture of the dress is fabulous. The fur, like it or not, is great. Yes, the hair and coat blend a bit, but the coat is outerwear.

And spot on with the aqua looking like the highlighting from Microsoft. That's the FIRST thing I thought.

PJ said...

I dunno, I kinda like that blue color myself, but I agree the second outfit is far more striking. One thing that struck me is that in the second picture, Vanessa's hair was (more or less) nappy. (Of course, that could have been a wig too, now that I think about it.) When she wore the blue dress, her hair was straight. So the second picture seems to me to be truer to her identity as a black woman.

flea said...

I have to come down on the side of Fug. The aqua dress is beautiful, the cut is flattering, her hair and makeup are perfect. The other photo, not so much.

belledame222 said...

i don't like either one; the second one's all weird with the texture, i don't like the silly fur, and it's all a little too muddy-earth-toned for my taste.

but, the aqua thing is...yeah, it looks way too much like a Barbie dress. chintzy-looking. the lines from the waist down are better, i agree, and the color...well, no, it really is too much like Windex. but an ever so slightly different blue could've gotten my vote.

i have nothing to say about the top.

belledame222 said...

elyzabethe has a point, though. yeah on the whole, given a choice, i'd have to go with #2, especially the hair. she just looks more -alive,- somehow.

belledame222 said...

and, i changed my mind, what i said about the lines? the lines of the aqua thing sucks. there -are- no lines. it looks like my granny's old nightgown. there. meh.

belledame222 said...

-sigh- okay, the second one is growing on me. especially now i see the fur is a stole, not a (silly looking) short jacket. yeah, "sepia" works. although...well, no, not "tie-dye," no, it's not that exactly.

i'm still not at all sure about the way it's got this sort of horizontal and then vertical thing going on, or the kind of crepe-y look, or the asymmetrical hemline on top of the horizontal then vertical.

if anything i could see her going -more- dramatic. like, if you're gonna work the fur, go for the whole cape-length, maybe in shiny black or -dark- brown. and if you're gonna go for the form-fitting evening gown, maybe work -that- a bit more as well. in a nice burgundy, say...or, antique gold. something.

and even bigger hair.

also i don't like the way that thing kind of cuts across the bust.

meanwhile of course -i- am dressed like a total zhlub, but i do enjoy the vicariousness once in a while...