Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Great Moments in Mudslinging

Some of you might have smelled the smoke from the wingnut witch hunt of Amanda Marcotte, known around these parts as "the nice lady who done gimme a job," this weekend. Basically, the John Edwards 2008 campaign hired Amanda to manage Edwards' campaign blog without consulting Wingnut Nation, and now Wingnut Nation is all kinds of mad because right up until Edwards did that, they were totally going to vote for him.

It seems the court of wingnut opinion finds Amanda guilty of expressing opinions they don't like about the Duke lacrosse case. If this is the sort of triviality we're going to get hung up on in blogland, then I vote we just go ahead and shut the internet down right now. What's the point of saying your piece anyway? Why even have opinions? They cause so much incivility.

Remember this nonsense the next time a right-winger asserts that it's actually liberals who are anti-free speech. Uh-huh? You don't say!

Here, then, are the top five idiocies of wingnut nation's latest fake scandal--or, "Out with Jamil; in with Amanda:"

5: Amanda Marcotte owes the Duke lacrosse team an apology

Source: Dan Collins, Protein Wisdom

What would it take to end the cycle of interblogger violence occasioned by Amanda’s ascension to Edwardian Blogatrix, at least here at PW (if you guys don’t mind my suggestion)? One thing, and one thing only:

Please apologize to the Duke Women’s Lacrosse Team.

I’m not even asking that Amanda apologize to the guys. They’re going to exact their apologies through the legal system (perhaps Edwards will take it on pro bono).

That’s all she has to do, and we’ll leave her alone. Fair?

Why It's So Stupid: You mean aside from the mind-boggling moment when you realize some putz on the internet actually thinks he has the power to make people type what he wants them to type? Because I thought that part was plenty stupid, myself.

Oh, fine: How 'bout because Amanda simply didn't do anything to these guys that might require an apology. It wasn't Amanda who suspended the players for the rest of their season, and it wasn't Amanda who took this case to the press, and it wasn't Amanda who requested DNA samples from the team--and it isn't Amanda who has any power to affect the fortunes of the lacrosse players in any way whatsoever.

For suggesting the most obvious idiocy, Dan Collins just squeaks into the number five spot; sadly, he's going to have to work much harder at his craft to do any better than last place. Better luck next year, Dan!

4. Amanda's got a foul, foul mouth

Source: Multiple, but hitting the Early Times Foulmouthed Bourbon especially hard lately are an advocate of (selective) sweetness and light; this repulsive creature; this one guy who at least admits he's a potty-mouth himself, but doesn't let that stop him from getting on his high horse about Such Language; and, for that grace note of irony that makes even the rottenest fruit smell just a tiny bit sweeter for a moment, a commenter at Protein Wisdom--you know, the site that was scrubbed from Right Wing News' blogroll for profanity? The site which garnered cheers and chuckles galore for producing this?

Why It's So Stupid: Really, wingnuts, people can use Google, okay?

For so perfectly illustrating the double standard that feminism's opponents are always insisting doesn't exist anymore, every purulent pustule who complained about Amanda's language whooshes straight down the porcelain bowl to septic tank number four.

3. I don't know whether to hate Amanda for her not wanting to fuck me, or for her not being a woman I'd want to fuck

Source: Dan Riehl, Riehl World View

Why It's So Stupid: No one wants to fuck Dan Riehl.

For tempting me to rip off The Editors' "Easy Answers to Unnecessary Questions" shtick, Dan Astroglides singlehandedly into the number three position.

2. I'm Concerned: The Classic Concern-Troll Maneuver
a. Amanda won't play in Peoria.
b. This hiring decision really reflects poorly on Edwards.
c. Didn't the campaign office research Amanda before hiring her?

Source: Multiple, including James Taranto:

At the very least, this is potentially libelous, given that the lacrosse players--although still charged with sexual assault (but not rape)--haven't actually been convicted of anything. It is also, shall we say, rather intemperate in tone, and one wonders if Edwards knew just what kind of blogger he was hiring here.

An imaginary Democrat who apparently didn't pay attention to the 2006 elections:

This is to funny - thanks for the laughs. I am not a troll and stumbled on this site from KC’s DIW. KC and Bill A. are brillant, articulate, excellent writers, well schooled and of course, have a vocabulatory that extends beyond using cuss words. Amanda is “bored” - who cares. Of course, she is not going to play in Peoria or outside her group of like thinkers and cursers. To compare her to Ben D. is insulting because he can write. I am a life long liberal Democrat, but had no intention of voting for Edwards anyway. I am going with the gentle warriers Rudy and McCain. The Democrats have lost their base. .

And commenter Earl at Feministe:

I think it is very poor public relations for the Edwards campaign to hire someone who regularly refers to Christians as “godbags.”

I say this as someone who is generally strongly supportive of Edwards, especially his “Two Americas” theme - income inequality in America is way, way out of control and someone needs to do something about it.

Put simply, Amanda Marcotte won’t play in Peoria. Edwards needs to cut her loose before Fox News gets hold of the vitriol she regularly spews.

Why It's So Stupid: I'm just going to crib from my respone to a concerned citizen commenter at Feministe. The commenter's original remarks are italicized:

I read Pandagon and agree with Amanda more often than not, but I think that the text Earl quoted is in poor taste, misrepresentative of the facts of the Duke case, and inconsistent with the quality of most of Amanda’s writing at Pandagon.

Funny thing about that: I’d agree with a kinder, gentler version of that assessment, and yet it never once occurred to me to try to harass Amanda out of a job for speaking her mind; nor do I think her disagreeing with me about the case has any effect on her ability to do the job for which she was hired (that was blogmaster, remember, not press secretary, campaign manager, political strategist, or speech writer).

But then, I’m not a posturing propagator of faux outrage, so I guess that figures, huh?

For supposing that (1) we're stupid enough to believe that this smear campaign has anything to do with Edwards' chances at winning the Democratic Party presidential nomination; (2) we're stupid enough to think Amanda Marcotte has any more influence on John Edwards than you or I do; and (3) we're stupid enough not to notice that the only people who hyped this hatchet job are dedicated misogynists--for supposing all that, every concern troll in this pretend scandal can now pat him- or herself on the back for having reached numero dos on the idiocy list. Congratulations, Concerned American Citizens: You beat the dynamic Dans.

1. Amanda Marcotte is a delusional bitch and, something something some other thing, blah blah--and therefore, the Edwards campaign should fire her.

Source: Gee, guess.

Why It's So Stupid: Because, Dan-O, for a guy who tries to pull this off:

I don’t care that Amanda’s working for John Edwards, and you’re right, Libby, that I’m not drawn from the pool of potential voters for the Bunnyman. I don’t even suppose that it necessarily reflects terribly badly on Edwards that his staff has made such a bizarre gaffe in choosing the Edwardian Blogatrix to run their blog.

--you sure fall flat on your face in the process. Look: You clearly do care, very much, that Amanda's achieved something your sad hack-of-a-hack ass never will, and it's obvious to everyone who reads you, Dan, that your left nut is never going to descend back down out of its happy place until that horrid bitch Amanda is toast. And that's why this is the alarm that sounds in the head of every woman who has had the misfortune to date your type, Dan:


So congratulations, Mr. Collins: For your surprise comeback from last place to first, for your transparent dishonesty that didn't fool my dumbest cat, and for your touchingly naive belief that you could simultaneously (1) hammer the same stupid points over and over again and actually (2) NOT have anyone wonder if perhaps you're a bit obsessive, you've reached number one on the Top Five Idiocies of the Amanda Marcotte Witch Hunt.

Here's your prize!

UPDATE: The divine Pinko Feminist Hellcat, Sheezlebub, on the blatant hypocrisy of Amanda's critics:

While you're at it, perhaps you should look at your own uncivil and bullying behavior before you freak out over the fact that a liberal had the gall to tell you to shove it in the past. Mocking Molly Ivins' death pretty much makes your moral authority nil. Maybe, in other words, you should follow the moral code you insist liberal women follow.

Aw, now, where's the fun in that? "Morality" means "I get to set arbitrary and hypocritical standards for other people," not "I have to live up to those standards myself first."


Amanda said...

Man, that laughing was better than coffee.

norbizness said...

I thought the shorter version of #1 was "If we can't have jobs, no one will!"

Helen said...

Christ, these people...I'm not sure if I want a dollar for each time someone's going to attack her using "feminazi" or "leftist wingnut". I can't decide which of the stupidly hurled insults will get me more dough...feminazi or leftist wingnut, feminazi or leftist wingnut...so hard to choose.

That's as creative as these folk get, see.

PS-I'm going to use "godbags" EVERY CHANCE I GET.

Shinobi said...

Shouldn't these morons be off invading Iran by now?

Best top five ever.

Dan Collins said...

Yay, I win, I win!

I've said that it would be appropriate for Amanda to apologize to the Women's Team because they didn't do it, just as she didn't smear them. It was the Matriarchy!!11!

I know we're not going to get an apology from Amanda. It would be too decent; kind of like Danny Glover.

Amanda can't admit a mistake because she doesn't make them. Not ever. Because the evidence doesn't matter. Which is why she's busy suppressing the evidence of her miscalculations, much like Mr. Nifong tried to do.

Lesley said...

Wow, a group of people who weren't going to vote for John Edwards are still not going to vote for John Edwards. Are they familiar with the concepts of "whistling" and "wind"?

Anonymous said...

Excellent. Now write the funny post.

Auguste said...

I know we're not going to get an apology from Amanda.

Dude, saying "we" about a sports team is bad enough when you're talking about what happens on the field.

Speaks volumes.

Knemon said...

"blogmaster, remember, not press secretary, campaign manager, political strategist, or speech writer"

Cobblers'. Blogging involves a little of all those things.

Is this a yuuuge deal? No.

Are you squirtin' ink like crazy? Yes.

ilyka said...

Is it evidence you suffer from delusions of grandeur if you honestly believe blogging involves a little bit of campaign managing? Unquestionably, yes.

But it does provide insight into why white blogdude kountry is so enraged by a fellow blogger making good. You really do think she's going to help Edwards usher in a bold new era of widespread castration, don't you?

And Breck hair. YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR BRECK HAIR. Start saving up for hair plugs, guys.

Sheelzebub said...

You know, I think some of these snivelling wingnuts are projecting just a bit.

Betty Cracker said...

And that's why this is the alarm that sounds in the head of every woman who has had the misfortune to date your type, Dan:


OMG, I thought I was the only one with a creeep alarm! ROFL!

belledame222 said...

You really do think she's going to help Edwards usher in a bold new era of widespread castration, don't you?

god, i hope so; it's the only way i can possibly imagine getting -any- sort of entertainment value out of those assclowns. (sharpens ginzu knives, fires up barbecue, gets out kabobs)

and tell me people did not...

oh who am i kidding, i can't even pretend to be surprised that Molly Ivins' death was a source of mirth and hilarity for some walking compost heap.

belledame222 said...

oh, i didn't know who the fuck Dan Collins was. so, i click through his profile and this is what comes up:

(apologies in advance)

I'll never forget that time I met Wonkette at the Kos do, and insinuated myself into her company. I invited her up to my room for a nightcap and a couple of Rohypnol. After awhile, we got comfortable, and I got her clothes off, and started making sweet love to Wonkette. Just as she was beginning to climax, she shouted out, "Hairy reed! Oh, hairy reed!"

Yeah, I brought her off with my big, hairy reed.

The Duke thing, huh. yeah, okay. apologize to those nice...people. ithink i'm beginning to understand where "we" comes from in this case.

excuse me, my brain needs a shower.