Saturday, January 20, 2007

A Brief Note on What I Would Like for This Blog

Pursuant to some comments here:

I would like this blog to be a place where people don't always get things right, because I don't always get things right. And trust me: There are plenty more examples where that came from.

I would like this blog to be a place where people can (please forgive the therapy-speak) process, because I'm still processing.

I would like this blog to be a place where people can agree to disagree if one or both of them is just not ready for a change of heart, because I have often had to table an issue mentally until I have been ready for a change of heart.

I would like this blog to be a place where people can sit on the fence about things as long as they need to, because my own ass has seen its share of fence splinters.

I would like this blog to be a place for both/and more than a place for either/or. I saw enough either/or on the right, thanks.

I would like this blog to be a place where everyone keeps in mind the distinction between doing or saying something [fill in the blank]-ist, and being a hopelessly unregenerate -ist by nature. That distinction is, to my mind, this: Anyone and everyone can and does say or do -ist things, but some of them can be persuaded--not badgered, hollered at, or nagged; persuaded--to stop doing them. On the other hand, someone who is unapologetically committed to such behavior, as evidenced by his or her attitude and past patterns of behavior, is probably a lost cause, and to hell with them. I would like for this blog to be a place where we start by assuming the former case rather than the latter.

I would like to be able to say these things without being called an apologist tool, but I accept that some people are going to say it anyway. I would like it if I could remember more that words on a monitor, or stupid crap on the internet, is just words on a monitor and stupid crap on the internet. I would like it if everyone who participates here could keep that in mind as well. I am quite a fan of perspective, when I remember to be.

I would like for this blog and its comments to be messy and imperfect, but not malicious or cruel.

I would like for anyone who wishes to comment here to feel comfortable doing so, even if he or she has a dissenting opinion from the majority, provided he or she refrains from malice or cruelty; which so far, I'm happy to say, everyone has mostly done.

That's what I'd like for this blog.


belledame222 said...

I like you.

little light said...

Hell, I'd like that for mine, too.

ilyka said...

Hell, I'd like that for mine, too.

And there's no reason at all why you shouldn't have had it, which brings up what else is bothering me about this and oh, so many other issues:

When I write one of these can't-we-all-just-get-along posts, I am keenly aware that I'm operating from privilege, because I have the option of consigning all the ugliness to my beat-up, overloaded, stupid-crap-on-internet bin. I have the option of saying "eh, let it ride, have patience," because hey, no one's making it personal about marvelous little me, so what's the big deal, right?

Except it is a big deal. It's a big oppressive deal that's not going to get anyone what s/he really wants anyway. It's only going to lead to more of the same me-up-here, you-down-there dynamic that's fucking everything up to begin with.

That attitude leads right back to the same exceptionalism I hated seeing from some conservative women: "Well, gosh! Mr. Misogynist has always been a perfect gentleman to me, so maybe it's just your problem! Maybe you just have a thing with that guy, Ilyka." No, no. That won't wash.

And I have no idea where to even start dealing with any of this.

JackGoff said...

Well, sorry for busting out the vitriol once again. I'll continue to work on it.

Chris Clarke said...

You know what I want for my blog? To have something to say there other than "What ilyka said," again.

but you are not making that easy grumble grumble.

John said...

Amen. But for your mental health, do consign most of this to "stupid crap on the internet", because Lord knows we meet enough assholes in everyday life to fill our quota. It's just you're also right that it matters - that internet behavior, like sportsmanship in little kid's games, says a lot about the adults who play, and the sheer number of dickweeds is disheartening. But also I keep in mind that the Internet is a strage attractor for the mentally ill.

It's one of the reasons I named my blog what I did. If I printed the stuff, sure as hell someone would wipe their ass with it. (That was one reason, and another was the fact that wiping my ass with Pravda and Izvestia back in the day was so intellectually satisfying, albeit somewhat chafing of the nethers and hardly hygenic. Not that I had a choice.)

ilyka said...

But also I keep in mind that the Internet is a strage attractor for the mentally ill.

That reminds me: You never told me about Time Cube!

Sage said...

This is just lovely.

John said...

"That reminds me: You never told me about Time Cube!"

That's because I didn't know about it.

Gee, thanks for giving me another well of Internet crazy to plumb instead of doing something useful.

ilyka said...

It's got everything: The paranoia . . . the multiple COLORS . . . it's all right there in the time cube.

JackGoff said...

Oh jesus, not Gene Ray, cubist.

:lol: :lol: