And because I am not just clever, talented, and charming, but full of helpfulness for my fellow man besides, I shared that advice with Margalis, one of the eloquent young men who wandered over to I Blame the Patriarchy from Sadly, No!
Margalis had questions, so many questions, about the reception his fellow SNer mikey had received upon making his patriarchy-blaming debut. Questions like:
Can I point out a few things in as non-antagonistic tone as I can?
Which was immediately followed by this non-antagonistic gem:
First, adding a comment at the top of Mikey’s first post is beyond lame.
I hate beginning sentences with "As a blogger," but let me tell you anyway: As a blogger, the one thing I guaranfuckingtee you is that just as there is no Santa Claus, there is also no such thing as the blogger who wants your worthless opinion about how to blog. That blogger does not exist. That doesn't stop Margalis in his quest to be non-antagonizing, though:
Second, I don’t see anyone addressing his point.
I Blame the Patriarchy, like so many other blogs, exists solely to address the points of first-time commenters who will not or cannot read the FAQ.
I think many of you simply read what you wanted to read and looked for an excuse to attack him.
He is right: There haven't been enough flame wars on feminist blogs lately. We must make more.
What I love here is the form Margalis uses in his comment, because it's classic feminist blog-trolling:
Begin from an all-I-want-is-peace-and-maybe-a-pony posture, then lurch headlong into all the reasons the damn feminists are making this peace IMPOSSIBLE. It would be like conducting negotiations with a foreign power this way*:
Us: May I just say one thing as non-antagonistically as possible?
Them: Why, of course.
Us: Okay. We're going to invade your country, kill all your leaders, and convert you to Christianity.
Them: You asshole!
Us: Huh? What are you getting all bent out of shape about? Don't you want our help? How are we ever going to come to terms if you won't let us help?**
You doubt me? Don't doubt me:
There are plenty of us ‘liberal dudes’ that agree with you - why make it so difficult for us? Why pile on someone who agrees with you?
Because you are being an ass who will not or cannot read the FAQ, Margalis.
That said, why do I feel like I am being attacked? Can someone point out what I, as a liberal dude, have done wrong exactly?
Hmm, it's not getting through for some reason. I'll try putting it in all-caps this time: YOU ARE BEING AN ASS, MARGALIS.
It goes downhill from there. Eventually the perpetually hurt-feelinged Margalis expresses befuddlement at all the hostility:
It just seems silly that it would be so easy to defuse the situation and maybe inform someone and turn them to your point of view, but instead you run them out of town.
That tugged my pity strings, so I explained it to him:
I understand your point, but that goes both ways. For example: It would be so easy for commenters to read the comment instructions atop each comment entry field:
“New to I Blame The Patriarchy? Cast your jaundiced eye upon this before commenting.”
. . .
More importantly, however, it actually would not be “so easy to defuse the situation.” It is actually a lot of work, work I am doing right now, work women do a hugely disproportionate share of in patriarchy, and so maybe you can understand why there must exist some places where we may unburden ourselves of that obligation for a few minutes. This blog is one of those places. It does not exist to persuade or debate. It exists (and again I refer you to the FAQ) “to advance the radical feminist views of Twisty Faster.”
Finally: I don’t think myself that you are a troll, but consider what you’re doing here and see why some blamers might think otherwise. You aren’t discussing the post; you’re defending your pal, and now I’m complicit in thread-drift by responding to you. Mikey, however, is not the topic. I am pretty sure Twisty didn’t write this to generate discussion of how we can all work harder to be nicer to mikey.
Now I will give you two guesses as to what happened next, plus a hint: It's number 2, all right?
1. Margalis read, considered, and replied to what I wrote.
2. Margalis completely ignored what I wrote, replying instead to another commenter in order to repeat the exact same brickheadedly stupid shit he'd tried to lay on me earlier.
Did you guess number 2? If you guessed number 1, can you check something for me?--Are you breathing?
It’s just the age old tale of boy stumbles across website, boy posts without understanding culture, boy gets beat down. Only with added drama.
It seems strange to make an enemy when you can make a friend.
Yes, that's all it is: The age-old tale of boy stumbles (innocently!) across website, boy posts without understanding culture (or reading a single fucking word by anyone eager to explain the culture to him), boy gets beat down (but not nearly enough). It certainly can't be that boy is being a dissembling, arrogant, passive-aggressive jackass, because you just know the real problem is feminist hostility. It seems so strange to make an enemy when you can make a friend.
Anyway, the feminists: What do you suppose could have happened to make them all so bitchy like that? Please tell me, so I can ignore your response and repeat my question another fifty fucking times, like a flambéed Tickle Me Elmo whose circuits aren't melting quite fast enough.
*More or less as we have been, in other words.
**I was tempted to add here, "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" I got over it.