Thursday, October 05, 2006

Silly Online Generator Forced Into Overtime

Aw, look, the internet's gone crazy. That almost never happens.

Excuses That Weren't Valid When You Were Six and Aren't Valid Now, Either:

* "Well, but they did it too, kind of."

* "You're only mad because [preposterous canard such as 'you secretly hate gay people']."

* "You should be happy! I thought your side loved [group erroneously conflated with subject under discussion, i.e. 'gay people' with 'creepy old predators']."

* "Now you're just being partisan." (Said with feigned innocence, as though you wouldn't be all over this if the affiliations were reversed, which is of course an enormous WHOPPER, and not the kind that comes between two saggy-assed steamed bun halves, either.)

* "Technically, it wasn't x, it was some-y-only-marginally-less-than-x."

And a Simple Test:

1. I am defending actions I wouldn't want taken against my own children:
TRUE
FALSE

Score 100 points for every "FALSE" answer; have yourself sterilized for every "TRUE" answer.

Bonus Followup Questions:

1. If I am appalled by the behavior of one individual, I should out a completely different individual, because that individual shares web space with the individual I really have my problems with:
TRUE
FALSE

2. I answered "TRUE," above, because it's totally okay to do this to anyone I deem to be a shitbag lying liar Rethuglican.
TRUE
FALSE

3. I answered "TRUE," above. I do not comprehend the meaning of the phrase, "compounding the problem." Also, I am an asshole.
TRUE

5 comments:

Auguste said...

Matt Drudge warrants a notice board all to himself. "Beasts" my ass.

gennimcmahon said...

And I'm sitting here thinking, "What's partisan about pedophilia?" The only bickering I'm interested in should occur while jockeying for a place in line at the public stoning. It's like fighting over a plate of dog shit, seriously. NOBODY wants a piece of that, thank you. It's almost like all these folks want to horn in on the attention rather than trying to make sure none of that pedophile mud gets splashed on their shoes...

Gower, Voice of Reason said...

Ummm pedophilia? Since when are 16-18 yearolds in the pedophile category?

IMHO, Foley needs to be gone along with every politician and buisnessman who thinks employees and interns are a private dating pool and both sides should just shut the hell up because as usual they contribute nothing but hot air and ravings.

Off topic but same picture on two posts? What's up with that.

Hubris said...

GVOR,

Look more closely at the image, and the concerns you've outlined will magically be addressed.

Gower, Voice of Reason said...

No thanks. Jon Stewart is funny. Colbert is like that guy you're trapped with on an elevator for 15 minutes who just won't shut up.