Friday, October 27, 2006

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's that time of year again when my boyfriend and I have this argument:

Him: It's freezing in here.

Me: I know! Isn't it wonderful!

"Couldn't we close the screen door?"

"In an hour, maybe. I want it nice and cold in here before I go to bed."

"But I'm freezing."

"You're fine! You're not freezing. A commenter at Feministe said it was -1 today in Maine. People in MAINE are freezing. You're just a little cold. Maybe if you put on--"

"I already have on 2 t-shirts and a sweatshirt. My heaviest sweatshirt."

"Oh. Maybe we should close the screen door."

Meanwhile, I'm scampering around in a light flannel shirt like it's a holiday--which, if you're me, it kind of is. I hear "overnight low of 39 degrees," and I definitely translate that to "holiday."

I can't wait 'til tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to turn on the oven FOR HOURS while I do us up a roast chicken.

I didn't run the oven more than a handful of times this summer. We grilled a lot. Ate a lot of pasta and salads. I did not consume a single baked potato.

"I don't understand," I chide him, "why you have to begrudge me my paltry four months of the year in which the weather is how I like it."

"I don't understand," he returns, "why you have to keep the house the same temperature as a morgue."

"You're only cold because you are a frigid Kraut bastard who does not understand that this weather is for hugging. And snuggling. And cuddling."

"I can't hug you if I'm dead."

"This weather is COZY."

"This weather is FREEZING."

He's wrong, right? Of course he's wrong.

This weather's not freezing. This weather is awesome.


gennimcmahon said...

Dude, I'm freezing. I'm wandering about in 20,000 layers of clothing, my man is wearing shorts and complaining that he's roasting, and turning on fans.FANS. My shoulders are hunched and my toes have gone numb, there's an icicle hanging from the end of my nose and it's the only time I'm glad that my thighs are intimate friends, 'cause I need the warmth. The dogs spent so much time trying to create a warm nest under their down comforter that they burst it and this morning the living room was flocked like a cheap 50s Christmas tree. See why I have a coat collection? I have to wear them INSIDE....

Rob said...

I have the same argument with my wife every year. It got into the low 40s overnight earlier this week. I wake up freezing. I look at the thermostat. It's 48ยบ. In the house. She's got the f&*king air conditioner on.

JackGoff said...

As a southern boy, I can tell you, this weather is the worst.

kathy said...

He is not wrong. I'm with Jack. As a southern girl now living in the cold frozen north, this weather sucks. But the husband would agree with you. He's always complaining about how hot I keep the house (65 is NOT hot) while I'm freezing.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, Ilyka. This is wonderful weather.

People at work keep asking me why I don't have a jacket on. The people at the dog park know that it's only really cold when I put on a coat and button it up.


Anonymous said...

While I agree the bedroom should be cold (bedrooms and pillows should always be cold), I'm with the boyfriend on this one. Everything on me is cold. My hands, they are like instruments of the dead. Boyfriend and dog jogged past me earlier and commenced bathing dog in ice cold hose water, which they shook off with flee while I made a snowcone from their cast off water.

Me? I put on another sweatshirt.


PS-you need to keep gennimcmahon. She's funny.

gennimcmahon said...

NOW I'm blushing and all sweaty and I can't get these damned layers off fast enough...HELEN likes me, oh, lordy, I'm delirious! Here I am, having an anxiety attack each time I post a comment that a horde will descend and beat me with spoons (my sister once smacked me in the ass with a wooden spoon and left a bruise, she thinks that's funny) and then someone likes me, I can barely handle it. Seriously, my deodorant is failing as I type.

I told my husband the other day it would be easy for me to move, because all my friends are in the computer...

Venomous Kate said...

Do you have my house bugged? That sounds suspiciously like a conversation VH and I had the other night. He particularly hates that I crack open doors even when he has the heat running. (It's too hot, dammit, but when I turn off the heat he turns it back on.) Besides, I want it to be cold enough that I need my flannel jammies, flannel sheets and big, heavy comforter.

Of course, since he gets up before me in the morning, I do expect him to turn the heat up a bit so I don't freeze to death on my way to the coffee pot. THEN I crack open the door.

Hal said...

"This weather's not freezing. This weather is awesome."

Damn straight. It's a lot easier to deal with the cold(read: more blankets) than to deal with 100+ heat(read: Massive electric bill).


margi said...

Bah hah hah! I can't wait until you post about what your house feels like to Sweetie when you go through menopause.

I'm already getting looks like daggers from DH, and these are only tiny lil' ol' hot flashes I'm having. He says I'm going to freeze him out.

Considering I spent the first 40 years of my life FREEZING, I'm sorta looking forward to the warmth.

But I'll bet it's gonna suck to live with me.


ScottM said...

Your boyfriend's right; my girl says the same things as you. There's a reason I live in California-- snow's for visiting, not for the living room floor.