Thursday, June 07, 2007

Themes Repeat

Donna is smart. Sometimes I get lucky and Donna visits me and says smart things here too, like for instance:

But you notice something else, almost all these blogwars aren't really about the initial complaint, and neither is this one. The TN bloggers and Brittany herself came in and explained who she is and how she does things. That's when JG started digging.

. . .

This is just like Kos with the pie fight, the ad was just a tiny blip on people's radar, it was attacking and demeaning progressive women that blew up all over the place. That was some nasty crap written by a conservative asswipe for sure, and that writer should have been condemned by all for it, but it is easier to attack and demean progressive women.

Bingo. It's the attitude. The elitist, know-it-all, everything-adjusted-to-my-comfort-zone attitude.

I get accused of having that attitude myself. Like, if I participate in a thread on a feminist blog criticizing a particular thing--oh no, that must mean I'm expecting the world to be tailored to me-me-me all the time.

'Scuse me, pardon me, but NO. That is incorrect.

See, if I thought everything should be tailored to me, I'd be over at the blog that didn't accommodate me, demanding it start accommodating me this instant, I mean right now!

And I didn't go over to Sadly, No! during the fat wars and do that. Sadly, No! is what it is. I didn't expect it to change much.

But I sure as hell expected that feminists could have a body image discussion on a feminist blog, even if it was about content posted elsewhere, without being told to shut the fuck up and quit boring the big liberal boys with our trivial fucking problems.

So some of us said that: "Hey, you don't have to be here getting bored with our trivial fucking problems, you know. You can leave and stuff."

And when that was said, the response was, "But this post is titled 'Go Fuck Yourself'." And then the feminists said, "But that's a reference to something Dick Cheney said, don't you get it?" And then the response to that was, "But this post is titled 'Go Fuck Yourself', that's what I saw in my referrers, 'go fuck yourself', and that's so wrong." And then we said, "Okaaay, I think maybe you don't understand the culture here," and they said "I find it really offensive that you think we need to learn about your stupid culture in the first damn place." And then I threw up.

Is any of this looking at all familiar?

Because the funny thing is, for people who supposedly wanted to dictate what could and could not be said, what jokes could and could not be made--for people who wanted to stamp out free speech!!!--well, I don't mean to insult us, but doesn't it seem as though maybe we were being pretty lazy in the way we set about doing that? Because we were not over there, crashing the gates and demanding the immediate application and enforcement of Our Rules. We were kind of sitting around our own space yakking, you know, how the fat people love to do.

Oh, what else does this remind me of. What else, what else, what else.

This is it, really. Here it is, the secret formula for the prevention of further trivial and boring and stupid blogfeuds that you, as a very important blogger, cannot possibly spend a moment's time weighing the various arguments of, though you can certainly spend days dismissing the idea that there should be any arguments made in the first place: Find out how much a loaf of bread costs. Because that is who you sound like, when you step gingerly out of your big liberal blog environment to see what the niche blogs--the feminist blogs, the Tennessee blogs, the race blogs, the queer blogs--you sound about this dumb. It's not because you are that dumb, or at least that isn't necessarily the reason; it's more because you can't accept that (1) there's stuff out there you don't understand and (2) some of that stuff is important to people, and especially (3) I don't care if you're the fucking Elvis of blogging, you don't have the right to decide what's important, or even how shit works, outside your own virtual Graceland.

So I don't want to hear that Brittney should have done this or should have done that because that's how blogging is done. No, that's how you do blogging, Elvis. And incidentally, "In The Ghetto" really made me almost hate you.

If you don't know how things work outside your own world, then for the love of sweet reason, put a sock in it until you figure it out. And if you cannot do this then will you at LEAST back the fuck off when someone who does know tells you, "Hey, things don't work like that here?" Instead of insisting, insisting, insisting that things work JUST the way you're used to and comfortable with?

When you travel to Europe, do the electrical outlets confound you? Ever tried to force one? I must know.


Anonymous said...

Others share your frustration about the lack of context. Why Gen. JC can't admit that he went to war based on bad intelligence, I don't know. Wait, maybe I do...

Magniloquence said...

Y'know, maybe we should make some kind of generic template, or response or something. Because I could swear we had this conversation just a little while ago.

Maybe I can just macro my posts now.

"[first party] said/did/heard [such-and-thus] mildly controversial/offensive/interesting thing.

[second party] pointed out that [such-and-thus] was mildly controversial/offensive/interesting, and could have been [phrased differently/made clearer/differently situated/better explained/better timed].

[first party] reacts poorly.

[second party and/or third party] takes issue with [first party]'s reaction.

Blogwar ensues."

Possibly with an accompanying map of the varying levels of power and privilege accorded to the participants, and a handy-dandy box-o-links for the people too ... mired in their own context to understand concepts like "privilege" "specificity" and "just because you had a good reason doesn't mean that what you did was right."

Anonymous said...

It might be time for anyone who's linked to JG to rectify the situation and delink this asswad.

What a misogynist, spineless piece of shit.


Veronica said...

Now I remember why I find mainstream liberal blogs so gawd-awful boring.

Magniloquence said...

I... I... I'm just watching the wreck at Aunt B's place and all I can do is blink, at this point.

I'm really glad I never linked to him. Though I kind of wish I had, just so I could de-link him in a huff. Or something.

Deoridhe said...

Aunt B's thread is skeerry, so I post here.

That does it: I demand an apology from some woman who has nothing to do with Brad. And I want it immediately.

I am SO, SO, SO sorry about Brad. Obviously, somehow my being a smart, articulate, witty women resulted in an outbreak of idiocy. I shall have to check the matrix to make sure it doesn't happen again. Or would this be the patrix? Patron?

belledame222 said...

I went over to Aunt B's with the intention of saying something on point or useful, but after one good look all i could do was blurt,

"y'all look like the aftermath of the Donner Party"

and skedaddle.

sorry. i tried. i think i'm getting a bit slaphappy actually. apparently everyone understands what Heart means by a certain post except me, at least in theory, and i--o, i don't know, and i translated it into Swedish Chef and -everything,- and still, bupkes.

belledame222 said...

magniloquence: well, if you don't want to delink him in a huff, you can delink him in a minute and a huff, and if you don't want to delink him in a minute and a huff, you can delink him in a taxi!--

...okay, time to go to bed, i think.

belledame222 said...

...why am i apologizing to Brad? who -is- Brad?


Dr. Scott?



never mind.

say good night, Gracie.

Deoridhe said...

Goodnight, Gracie!

Pinko Punko said...

I'm not convinced over the meta-ness of "go fuck yourself" blogging- it seems that the rage comes first, then the "suck it up, defensive fuck!" I just think if you call someone out like that you have to expect the "dialog" to start and end in a flame war.

Pinko Punko said...

update Many of the "you"s in the comment below are the general "you" and not the specific "you"

So to just pipe in a little bit more. Events are almost always a total effing trainwreck before anyone even gets their two cents in, but people always start with hindsight instead of where we are now and where we want to get. Instead it is about where we want you to be a different person making different choices in the past, not influencing choices in the future. Thus, post that are all about everyone going to go fruck themselves. ON top of that, it is pretty clear that in our world, emotion, real emotion, drives people to be assholes, and much of the time drives people to peel back the civilized veneer, and express racist or sexist undertones, overtones, tones, shades, what have you. This should never surprise, but the point is how to get back from it, or move forward?

I do not have the answer. Obviously people got so mad about the Smantix post they couldn't see clearly. And they though Brittney was pulling an Insty. I don't condone them at all- they acted like total choads- but the entire language of blog interactions are filled with this fucking rage that everyone has. You can't ever do any good raging on some people that are raging themselves, and they feel like they are fighting for their dead friend. I'm not saying that rage is illegit if you are on the side of the good guys and that you are right, but if someone expresses that their goal is not the rage but to make someone else see something a different way, then is the rage the best way to accomplish that?

I'm saying this here because even when you are massively pissed off on a jag, ID, I can always still understand you and 100% see your logic. I think this is a good kind of anger because at least for me, I could still be swayed by you even if you were throwing bombs. I just tune into your frequency- but is everyone else out there like that? I say less and less in these debates because I feel more and more when I am typing comments it is more to score points with my own side in an argument than actually trying to convince the person I am arguing with of something. That is not a good thing.

Pinko Punko said...

And now I am finally caught up.

Mix one person's grief/anger (JG) and the usual miscommunication of the written word (everyone else) and the world unloads the nuclear trigger. Everybody has got to go to the mattresses for their team because we're all right. Fucking hell. This is too much. I read JG, he sounds like himself, and making sense, then I read the comments at Tiny Cat Pants, and it looks like JG shit the bed. A Perfect Storm. Goddamn depressing.

Soul crushingly depressing. And of course anything that has happened is just more evidence for all of us chumps pre-conceived notions. Perfecto!

ilyka said...

That is not a good thing.

That is the damn truth right there.

I mean, I know why I started off mean in this one: Because I saw Aunt B. start off nice and get nowhere. At that point--well, at that point, I figured there WAS no point. Everyone seemed pretty well dug-in by then.

But do I really know that? Who's to say two people starting from nice wouldn't have got anywhere? I don't know.