Lie shamelessly, lie often!
It's all so flattering, almost as if they'd designed it that way!
Some of this stuff is true. I do like to be alone and I do like to have my way, making me a barrel of JOY JOY JOY to live with, let me tell you. Or let the boyfriend tell you. In fact I will let him tell you, just as soon as I unchain him from the bedpost and permit him to speak again.
But I do NOT have an eye for fine detail, which is how I wound up with a duvet cover that doesn't match the bedskirt, and did I tell you about the bathroom towels? The bathroom towels that don't match either because I could not tell the difference, in the bright lights of the store, between "terracotta" and "deep terracotta?" I am blind to detail. An imbecile. A walking fashion-don't.
Hey, listen: No one tell Chris Clarke about this quiz, okay? Because one of the choices for "That's Gross" is [whispering] a photo of a dude's hairy back and, well, you know how he gets about that. It is currently the most popular choice in the category of grossness, beating even the cigarette photo. But come on, Steroid Steve up there is much more disgusting than either of those choices. Everyone knows this; I don't know why they're all pretending they don't.