Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Let's Talk About the Important Issues of the Day (or: It Never Fucking Ends)

I want to be taken seriously as a serious blogger, blogging only about serious things, so let's open up the floor for discussion of what is inarguably the most important issue facing the United States right now:



Dinesh D'Souza: Would you fuck him?

What if he were still wearing the sweater? Would you then?

Serious answers only, please. All nonserious respondents will be expelled from the Party for attempting to fracture our carefully crafted political coalition. I am utterly serious about this.

34 comments:

Mark S. said...

Well, I don't really swing that way, but if you threw in Robert Novak, maybe.

John T said...

I bet he has a hairy chest, that's hot. I doubt he gives good head though.

gennimcmahon said...

Umm, I'm totally offended by this post! You silly twats don't seem to understand that only CHICKS are fuckable/not fuckable, and only their "ideas" need be evaluated that way.

Geez. Men (unless they're one of teh gays) are worth so much more than this cheap joke of a post, I think giving you ladies the vote was a real mistake. I bet you need a good (insert dumb ass description of sex as it relates to some sort of machinery here).

Sniper said...

This is about the time someone asks, "With whose dick?"

ilyka said...

I think giving you ladies the vote was a real mistake

Indeed! But now, about the sweater. I really wanted a serious fiber artist's serious opinion on that shit.

Heraclitus said...

Um, no. But I would call Ann Coulter a "tranny," because not doing so "deprives" us of "powerful weapons." Once the homobigots hear "us" saying that, the Green Party will no doubt carry the Southland in 08.

If I sign up to be a "Republican operative," can I be as smart as the Feministe bloggers?

Sniper said...

The real question here is, does the sweater make him look fat?

Chris Clarke said...

Pull that sweater up over his face, then maybe. If I could swat his ass with his Birkenstocks.

gennimcmahon said...

Obviously, judging by the sweater (I'll say it's a seriously scratchy wool, due to the preference of the bigoted right wing to wear hair shirts), and how it suggests bloating, he's on his period, and therefore totally not fuckable.

Oooh, Chris, swatting with Birkies, I LIKES it, I do.

JackGoff said...

I'd make out with him, then tell him I'd call him tomorrow.

ilyka said...

I'd make out with him, then tell him I'd call him tomorrow.

I see you are very serious about the teasing, Comrade Tease! I approve.

roula said...

::heart::heart::heart::heart::

omg ilyka. my boyfriend and i laughed like nerds

for the record, he can't stand dinesh dsouza-- thinks he's way too unfuckable to have a place in public discourse, yknow.

Jodie said...

Hmmm. I think he'd be vastly improved with some makeup to even out that blotchy complexion and mascara to bring out his eyes. And the dorky glasses -- those MUST go. The sweater is a little too professorish, I think -- he needs something a little clingier.

junk science said...

Um, no. He looks like more than a few of my uncles.

ilyka said...

The sweater is a little too professorish, I think -- he needs something a little clingier.

Correct! Dinesh must not be afraid to embrace his feminine side. So says Donatella Versace, and I believe her.

Lesley Plum said...

I'm so glad you've raised this very serious topic. For some time, I've been thinking "You know what we really need to discuss? Dinesh D'Souza's fuckability!"

After having acquainted myself with some of his work, my immediate thought was "Damn, that guy really needs to lose himself in a fifth of scotch and be enveloped by a pulsating organ of love."

Well, it was either that or "Ewwww." So hard to keep these things straight.

Anonymous said...

I would appreciate it if you would read the last comment here: http://ilykadamen.blogspot.com/2007/03/and-perfect-example-of-what-not-to-do.html
--

Pretending to be on-topic: no.

williamx said...

Not no, but fuck no.

He's got no soul.
When you fuck someone with no soul
your soul dies as well.
You won't even know until it is much to late.
When you've got no soul then . . .
Dick Cheney calls you on your cell to welcome you to the fold.
. . . and you smile.

Phoenician in a time of Romans said...

As with Ann Coulter, the important variable of whether he would be speaking at any time during the encounter is never specified.

ilyka said...

As with Ann Coulter, the important variable of whether he would be speaking at any time during the encounter is never specified.

You raise a very important obstacle to our reaching consensus. This is serious!

What do the People say? Is Dinesh talking? Or is he burping? Or his mouth too full of your wing-wangs to do either?

I would appreciate it if you would read the last comment here:

I will try to get to it before the morning, provided it is (1) serious and (2) important. Otherwise I am afraid there are more pressing matters requiring my attention at present. You can blame Phoenician in a Time of Romans for that.

Xtina said...

First, I will bet you 1% of my yarn stash that you could get this Very Important Question onto Fox News.

Second, I have a terrible mental image of Family Feud covering this topic.  "Survey says... fuck no, with a side of hot dogs!"

Andrew said...

No chance whatsoever.

But I'm told I have no taste in men.

Kali said...

Huh. I feel y'all are being unduly harsh. With a shaved head and contacts instead of glasses, and about a month in the gym, he actually wouldn't be that bad. He should get on that, stat. It's just downright lazy not to take care of himself, and it makes him kind of hard to take seriously, you know? He kind of looks like one of those bitter meninists.

Anyway, I'd call him a seven-pinter. I wouldn't fuck him, not until he has enough self-respect to make a bit more effort.

norbizness said...

I have to admit to a serious schoolboy crush on Dinesh that goes back to 1991; unfortunately, he gave a talk at my university that was disingenuous, ill-informed, and irrelevant, and the crush evaporated. But with the sweater, definitely.

alphabitch said...

No.

Well, maybe I'd do him in the ass if he begged for it, and I was bored and/or drunk enough, and I was sure I wouldn't have to talk to him afterwards.

But not in that sweater, although I like Chris' idea of putting it over his head (and the birkenstocks! nice touch!), but only because it would maybe quiet him down some. Because I don't care how drunk I am, I don't want to hear the guy talk. Am I clear about that? Total turn-off, that.

As a knitter, I think that's one butt-ugly sweater. I agree with genni that it looks like scratchy wool. Boring pattern, ugly color that does not suit him at all, and dorky as fuck-all. Not that there's anything wrong with that, really. Some of my best friends are dorks who wear sweaters.

Anonymous said...

No. Not even with Barbara Bush's vagina.

Ron O said...

I don't swing that way and he's not enough of a hottie to make an exception. I prefer the outdoorsy types. Maybe if he traded in the sweater for a flannel shirt subtly flecked with wood chips, like he'd just finished chopping logs for the fire he was going build in front of a bear rug, which he had killed and skinned himself. I'd do him then.

However, a porno with him and Ann Althouse; that would be hot!

Sniper said...

What do the People say? Is Dinesh talking?


That changes everything. I'd do him if he was talking, but only if he was apologizing and castigating himself the whole time.


Mmmm. Castigation.

Lesley Plum said...

What do the People say? Is Dinesh talking?

I rate the chances of him not talking so low as to make this today's safety bet. Because, really, when does he not talk?

Twisted Ovaries said...

No. Not because of the sweater because, really people, you're supposed to remove that shit before you get into bed, but I just couldn't get it on with someone whose name sounds like a cross between a fungal infection and a big brass band.

There have to be limits here.

Meryl said...

No.

schemanista said...

Will my friends ever find out?

LongHairedWeirdo said...

"Well, I would have once, but not any more. Oops, I mean, I just wanted to, you know, fuck some sense into him with my liberal dick. Oops, I'm sorry, I didn't know you litle ladies were all so sensitive around here, really, I respect you all, please, stop, because, you know, all this anger is going to give you frown lines, and then where will you be? I mean, you know I'm a feminist because my mom was fuckable, and..."

obKoch: How'm I doing?

Blue Gal said...

I hafta say that in certain circles that sweater would be the news.

It's a two stitch check pattern, possibly a slip stitch but probably not, since undoubtedly it's machine knit.

The drop shoulders give the lie to its commercial manufacture, imho. And look at the sleeves, particularly around the inner elbow. Too much fabric there. I'd definitely up the ribbing to two and a half, maybe even three inches, both at the cuffs and at the waistline. The button band would be more slender, buttons masculine yet noticeable, again, to create a vertical line which will slim the overall effect.

Yes, if I were knitting a sweater for that body shape, it would be a cardigan with set-in sleeves and decreases/increases for a better fit around the "gut." And cropped, to make his legs look longer, again to slim and create the illusion of height.

I only work in natural fibers, and that sweater does not scream 100% acrylic, but it does not scream "dry clean only" either. Since it's commercial manufacture, it's probably a washable wool blend. Lay flat to dry, kind of like your brain after hearing him speak.

Am I making you hot? Thought so.

(thanks for giving me a chance to blog about knitting. I hardly evah do that at my place.)