It's official: Justin Timberlake has made me love him. I did not ask for this; indeed I tried very hard to resist it. But there is no getting around it anymore. I love Justin Timberlake.
My goodness, I remember when my mother started doing this--pointing out dudes nearly half her age as "cute." I AM A DIRTY OLD LADY. Oh, no, no, no. This is terrible! How did this happen? How?
I first got worried a few years ago when "Cry Me a River" came out. "Damnit," I grumbled to myself, "I don't want to like this song. I can't like this song! Well, I'm not going to tell anyone I like this song. I mean, I don't really like this song. It's just that it's kind of catchy, is all. And it feeds my Britney-loathing. That's all it is. It's not like it's a great song or anything. No, I don't really think I like this song. I just like that he took a shot at Britney."
But just as I'd convinced myself of that, I saw his bit on SNL with Kermit the Frog and, and, it was funny. "This is not me liking no Justin Timberlake," I told myself. "This is only me liking the guy playing Kermit. It's the puppeteer I'm giving props to here. Not that child Timberlake. Stupid boy-band graduate! Not my type. Not my type at all. I'm pretty sure I'm only laughing at 'the lovers, the douchebags, and me,' anyway."
My denial was going so well, and then the motherfucker had to go and do this.
I HATE TO LOVE YOU, Justin Timberlake. Just stop it! Stop it right now. Asshole!