Friday, September 08, 2006


I have heard it said that you shouldn't make a big deal out of announcing that you aren't going to be posting as much or at all or whatever, and I can see the argument there, not least of which is that then you look like a real dumbass if you post 12 things immediately following your "posting will be light" notice, but I don't know, the guilt gets to me. It's not that I think I'm that special or anything, it's that I feel an obligation to say something. So what I'm saying is, if I were you, I wouldn't bother with this weblog much until mid-December maybe. Because I'm not going to bother with it much until at least then.

But enough about me, let's talk about me for a change: I like this class better than I thought I would. Most shocking of all, to me, is that I'm better at this class than I thought I would be. In the years between taking my first programming class all the way through to becoming an ex-software-developer (oh hey! Some unsolicited advice: If your boss in any field ever assures you that it's in your best interests to abandon completing your degree so that you can work 80-hour weeks because "the money is really hot right now and no one cares about educational background," recall that bosses never put your best interests above those of the company's. I cannot stress this enough.), I forgot something: I forgot that I am actually pretty fucking good at this. Meaning, I stayed up late last night sweating an assignment which it turns out, upon review of said assignment in class this morning, I rocked.

The thing is, last night I was pretty sure I had it. I had checked my work and my work checked out. But I did not have that confidence of knowing I had it. I had a lot of stupid doubts about a lot of stupid things, and that was the problem: I was confusing stupid doubts with useful doubts. A useful doubt is one that questions whether you've done something correctly. A stupid doubt is one that questions whether you should even be doing this at all, you ignorant old fat hag.

There are definitely a few things I'm still rusty on. My ability to think is good, my willingness to do the work is good, my instincts may even be excellent. Nevertheless, I think I'd better focus on getting an A out of this fucking class because that right there would be a huge confidence boost for me, and I all-caps, bold, underline NEED that right now.

In the meantime, if you ever really get bored you can go marvel at the makeover industrious reader Gower has given to Men and Women Are Different. It's a stunner, I think you'll agree.


Gower said...

Don't worry your pretty little head about it too much, it's just not what your brain was made for.

Am I being ironic and patronizing or just patronizing. You decide.

belledame222 said...

Ooh, an enigma! Wrapped in bacon! Bring on the entertainment! -clap, clap-

Let's see. Can you play "Melancholy Baby?"

ilyka said...

Am I being ironic and patronizing or just patronizing. You decide.

You know my delicate female mind couldn't quite suss that one out, Gower, so I tried diagramming it. Really deceptively simple, once looked at the right way.

Gower said...

If you hum it I can probably strum it on you... but my enigmas usually come wrapped in mystery sauce

Gower said...

I'm sorry did you say diagramming or diphagramming it? But you diagrammed that makes me feel special all over again, not just because it sounds dirty either.