It Would Never Work

Hmm, seems longtime misogynist and aspiring chef Steve H. has been making eyes across the internets at one Ms. Meryl "Master of Juvenile Scorn" Yourish.

I can't think of a union I'd rather see, nor of one less likely to work out.

Leaving aside that Steve (a) isn't Jewish, (b) blames women for everything, and (c) owns two pet birds (+ Meryl's two cats = feathers everywhere), I think the chief obstacle to this union is that Steve never met a recipe he didn't feel compelled to tinker with.

Steve's perfectionist culinary impulses + Meryl's tried-and-true latkes recipe = KITCHEN ARMAGEDDON.

Pity.

Anyway, two Mel-mockin' links for Meryl, because a woman who works as hard as she does deserves a good laugh:

Q: What was Mel Gibson drinking before he was arrested?

A: A few of his personal favorites.

The Passion of the Christ-tini
3 parts Alizé Wild Passion
2 parts Gibson Gin
splash blood

Serve in the True Grail, with olives on a penny-nail.

And:

The State of Israel was arrested Friday on suspicion of drunk driving and disorderly conduct. According to a report by the arresting officer, Israel — a country in Western Asia on the southeastern edge of the Mediterranean Sea — was belligerent, swearing uncontrollably and hurling epithets at Hollywood star Mel Gibson.

Enjoy. I have a date with a whole buncha lemon and garlic to get to in the kitchen. And I don't need Steve's advice on any of it, thanks be to heaven.