Do you see how literal* I'm being with this? Now you could just splash it around very loosely, that can be a fun way to cook sometimes, but see how much of the bread remains undressed if I do that? I want to get very literal coverage so that each piece soaks up the maximum amount of flavor.
I would note how much evidence this provides for Chiarello LITERALLY being a walking asshole, but why fight fire with fire? Why stoop to his level? He is not literally a walking asshole. He is only remarkably similar to what I imagine a walking asshole would look, talk, and act like, if assholes could talk, and as long as we're imagining one walking around on legs, I see no reason to let their natural muteness interfere with the metaphor here.
This man makes me miss Bobby Flay, people. I'm not kidding.
*I know what you're thinking: "Ilyka, you've gone half-deaf; you just misheard him say 'liberal.'" I swear to you that this is not so. He stone cold mixed them up and he didn't even seem to be aware of it. That is what made the whole thing so galling.